Episode 103 – Grapes in the Desert Pt 3: Lament the Loss

Key Passage(s): Psalm 13

The practice of grounding yourself in gratitude is essential to a life well-lived. But in the wilderness experiences of life, gratitude isn’t enough. In those times, we need to identify, name, and express our losses. The Psalms are a case in point. Filled with both songs and prayers of praise, they’re also packed full of songs of lament. Because being grounded in gratitude and lamenting the loss are deeply human and deeply biblical. This teaching will give you a new perspective on how to hold both the gratitude and the loss.

Discussion Questions

  • What was your biggest takeaway from the teaching?
  • What are some things you’ve been grateful for during this pandemic, things you wouldn’t have experienced without the pandemic?
  • Why do you think Westerners tend to see sadness as treasonous?
  • Are you more of a glass-half empty or glass-half full kind of person? As illustrated in this teaching, why is it more helpful to be both?
  • What’s at stake if we only choose to live in gratitude and never lament the loss? What’s at stake if we only ever lament the loss and don’t express our gratitude?
  • How will you begin living out the truths of this teaching this week?

For Further Study

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  1. Lisa May 20, 2020 at 9:36 am - Reply

    Thank you, Brad, for this episode. What a relief it is to hear that I can be grounded in gratitude along with lamenting the losses I am experiencing at this time. Our family is suffering the loss of many significant events due to the Covid quarantine. My daughter’s wedding, my son’s high school graduation, and another daughter’s pregnancy and birth of her first child and my first grandchild. Not being able to experience these milestone events to the fullest has left me shedding lots of tears “locked” in my bedroom. I was trying to tell myself to get over it and move on, but I just couldn’t. I was then beginning to feel guilty for having all these “woes me” feelings. Thank you for reminding me that it is OK to lament my losses while staying grounded in gratitude.

    • Brad Gray May 21, 2020 at 5:44 pm - Reply

      Ugh! I am so sorry, Lisa. Those are a lot of disappointments. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us all, and for giving testimony to need for both gratitude and lament. May you do both well in this challenging season. Grace and peace.

  2. Diane May 21, 2020 at 7:35 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much for this Brad! It reminded me I have permission to grieve once again. Having finally worked through the loss of my husband, this has been incredibly hard. All my “life giving” activities were taken away at once. I keep trying to give myself pep talks and have been struggling to trust God in this hard time. Tomorrow morning I’m going to start my lists and refocus on my faith.

    • Brad Gray May 22, 2020 at 1:20 pm - Reply

      Thank you for sharing this, Diane. And I’m thrilled you’re going to work on those lists.

    • Crystal June 9, 2020 at 11:00 pm - Reply

      Diane your losses are great, reminds of Ion may your faithfulness be returned ten fold. Keeping you in my prayers.

  3. Crystal June 9, 2020 at 10:58 pm - Reply

    This message is for my roommate of 13 years. He has been a blessing to my family and he speaks of gratitude but struggles with Lament. I shared it to Facebook and tagged him. I wrote my lists and I hope he does too and we can share together then take them to God. Thanks Brad.

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